What is love?

Being Valentines weekend, one can’t help but ponder on all things love related. Days like yesterday make us sit back and reflect on all the various forms love has graced us with. For some, the thought of love brings happiness and gushy lovey dovey feelings. For others, only sadness and disappointment comes to mind.
Often I hear the words “love stinks” uttered. Mainly as a statement of heartache that they are experiencing or have experienced in the past. I won’t lie, even I have spoken those words from time to time. It’s so easy to blame and curse love when our hearts have been shattered. Especially by those who promised to cherish us. But, does love actually ‘stink’? Is love really at fault for our brokenness?

Now, I want us to put our ‘big girl’ and ‘big boy’ hats on for a moment as I quote a popular passage from the bible about love. The following passage is regularly shared at weddings so many of you may already know it. I know there are some of you reading this who don’t believe in God, some who do believe in God and some who just don’t know. That is all totally okay. We are all on different journey’s and walk in different shoes. We are a peoples with different views and beliefs and should be entitled to live so freely. There is no judgement here, either for ‘God botherers ‘, atheists, those who don’t know or don’t care and for those who are patiently waiting for lightsabers to be invented to accompany their Jediism faith (yes, it’s a real religion – with a church and everything!). 🙂 Wisdom and knowledge comes in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life. From temples, lecture hall, churches, movie theatres, battlefields, mountain tops and even the place you are sitting right now. We are an amazing race us humans. There is much we can learn from in this life. So, I implore you to read the following with an open mind.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Now everyone say ‘Awwwww’! 🙂
Doesn’t this love sound incredibly beautiful and perfect? This kind of love doesn’t ‘stink’ at all! I know what your thinking…your thinking – ‘poppycock! That’s not the love I’ve experienced. It’s the complete opposite! That kind of love doesn’t exist!’ You know what I say in response my friend? I say you are COMPLETELY justified to have that view point. The love I’ve experienced in this life is also contrary to the above description. Not only that but if I’m honest, I can shamefully say I have not given a love like this scripture talks about either. So, how can I still be of the opinion that love doesn’t ‘stink’? How can I assume that this is an accurate description of what true love is? Simple – because of dogs…

Those who know me will know that I am completely besotted with my long haired miniature dachshund – Jazzy. Jazzy is a rascal of a sausage who barks more than I like, has an unhealthy obsession with balls and completely loves me! There is nothing more precious than coming home from work to find her patiently waiting at the fence with her tail wagging faster than the speed of sound. Then when I get inside she is all over me like white on rice, smothering me with kisses and cuddles. To her, I am the best thing since scooby snacks! Even when I unjustly take my frustrations out on her for ALWAYS wanting to play ball – she still loves me. On those tiring days where I remember at 11pm that I haven’t given Jazzy her dinner – she still loves me. When I yell at her for once again chewing off the corners of my pillows and running around the house with the stuffing – she still loves me. Even when I push her aside when she’s just trying to have cuddles – she still loves me. Jazzy doesn’t withhold her love or change her love because of something I said or did. Her love is not based on my actions, its freely given on her own accord. She trusts me completely and her faith in me never ceases. She adores me no matter what! Jazzy longs to shower me with her doggy love. Anyone with a dog knows of this unconditional love I speak. It truly is heart warming.

So, if a dog’s love is evidence of this true loves existence – why do us humans get it so wrong?

I’ll tell you why….because we are selfish.
Yep! There it is! The ugly truth. We get so caught up in making number one happy that we neglect to think of the other people we experience life with. Our selfishness can lead us to say things we don’t mean and do things we might later regret – essentially hurting those we love.
I am yet to meet a selfish dog. There are so many extraordinary stories out there about dogs that sacrifice their comfort and even their lives for their humans. A dog will stop at nothing to protect, honour and serve the humans who adopted them. I have even heard sad stories where dogs still try to love their oppressive and abusive human masters. Dogs don’t know how to be selfish. They cannot help but love. It’s in their nature. Why else would they be called man’s best friend? I don’t think love is to blame for our brokenness at all, in fact I think it’s our human inability to handle love properly that is to blame.

If we want to have true ‘not stinky’ love, we must take notes from our fury four legged friends. Start thinking of the other person in your relationship. Don’t seek to get out of your companionship what you want, instead seek to give what they want. Some days you might not want to help with the washing, or watch that sports game, or be dragged around the shops. Do it anyway. If you both are seeking to please the other than both of your needs will be met. In the end you will get what you want, and not only that you will have a happy spouse. It’s a win win! Love is a choice. Jazzy chooses to love me even when I’m being a complete grouch. All those attributes of love listed in the scripture above are all choices that need to be made on a daily basis. As humans, it’s not easy to be patient, kind, unenvious, modest, humble, honouring, selfless, calm, forgiving, protective (particularly from yourself), trusting, hopeful and persevering. These go totally against our self seeking nature and are very hard to remember and act on, especially in heated moments. But, if you can persist through it willingly and with joyous attitude – the rewards will far outweigh the costs.

Happy valentines weekend my peeps, to you and your pooches! 🙂

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Me and my beautiful sausage

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Oh, to be young.

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A cheeky and young ME!

I don’t know about you but I often catch myself thinking of how old I am getting. Obviously 25 ranks quite low on the ‘Old’ scale but I still find myself dwelling on the age issue. I think this is predominantly because time flies by so quickly, we bearly have time to blink before we are once again praised with ‘happy birthday’ wishes and are left puzzled as to what happened to the previous 12 months. It is easy to get caught in the snare of ‘I wish I was young again’.

Over my 25 years I have accumulated wisdom and insight that, if given the opportunity to time travel, I would willingly pass it on to my young and naive self. The urge to daydream of advising our younger selves and deterring them from our past failures, can leave us downtrodden. We can become so heavy laden with our “all-encompassing knowledge of life” and our shoulda, coulda, woulda’s that our best days almost appear to be over. 

Ahh, but I have some encouraging news! You CAN teach an old dog new tricks! 🙂

I stumbled across a wrighting by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (no, that is not a typo and yes that is a very cool name!) which resounded so completely with myself that I was left bewildered as to how I had not come across this brilliance before. 

Then, in that moment I had an epiphany (and I didn’t even need to be in the shower!). 

I AM STILL YOUNG! 

How wonderful is it that I don’t know all! That I am still learning and discovering. There are wonders to explore, books to be read, people to meet, emotions to feel and lessons to be learned. Everyday is a opportunity to mentally grow and expand. I can still be moulded and shaped into the woman that I wholeheartedly desire to be. 

My best days are very far from being over – and neither are yours!

Thankfully this is a life long journey so even when I’m 100 and speeding around the nursing home in a wheelchair, I can still shout through my false teeth – I AM STILL YOUNG! 😆

Kristy xx 

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I’ve Learned…

Hi all,

I have been struggling over the last few months trying to distinguish what I would like my second blog to be about. I have had much happen since my first blog and subsequently many ponderous and enlightening thoughts have run through my mind but I have never know what to pen down (or type down in this case). So, in my quandary, a dear friend of mine encouraged me to write an ‘I’ve Learned’ poem which is an accumulation of things I have learned over my young life. So, I decided to accept her offer and below are 25 of my ‘I’ve Learned’s’ (one for each year I’ve been on this earth)…here goes!…

 

I’ve learned that grey exists in more situations than black and white.

I’ve learned that dressing up does wonders for one’s self esteem.

I’ve learned that love gets warped to fit our own ideologies.

I’ve learned that the human race has more strength, aptitude, potential and resilience than we can begin to imagine.

I’ve learned that bravery means following your heart.

I’ve learned that love is more than a feeling.

I’ve learned that nothing you deeply desire is easy to obtain.

I’ve learned that good intentions are sometimes all you will receive.

I’ve learned that a good book is as good as a holiday.

I’ve learned that regret is a life long companion.

I’ve learned that letting you ‘inner child’ out at least once a day promotes happiness.

I’ve learned that love never fails but faith in love can fail.

I’ve learned that celebrities are nothing more than passion driven people living out their dreams.

I’ve learned that its a long road to recovery once a heart is broken.

I’ve learned that a sweet cup if tea cures all ailments.

I’ve learned that the love of a pet is the best therapy.

I’ve learned that faith really can move mountains.

I’ve learned that believing in yourself is the only way you will move forward.

I’ve learned that love is not confined to our doctrines or beliefs.

I’ve learned that the word ‘friendship’ is ‘family’ in disguise.

I’ve learned that dreams and passions should not be ignored but persued and achieved.

I’ve learned that there is no such thing as a ‘weird’ person – only unique individuals.

Ive learned that keeping a journal is as good for your wellbeing as a good night sleep.

I’ve learned to do whatever you can NOW because when the time is gone you will never get it back.

I’ve learned that determination is paramount to success.

 

I hope you enjoyed catching a glimps of the world inside my head. I encourage you also to write one of these yourself. You will be surprised at what you have learned over the years. 🙂

Love to you all. xx

 

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The Dreams of a Child

Right now, are you where you thought you would be when you were a child?

I’ve been pondering this a lot recently. If you go and talk to a child they have these big dreams of being a fire fighter or vet nurse…simple yet marvelous dreams. As we get older and into high school our knowledge of occupations broadens and some change their childhood dreams to more specific or in depth life goals. Even at the brink of ‘adulthood’ when we graduate from school the world is so big and the possibilities seam endless…

For some of us out there, that big eyed view on life somehow gets snuffed out… Life goes from being exciting and full of potential to an existence that we must endure…Somehow through the course of ‘growing up’ we get swept into the mundane and loose sight of what we once dreamed of…well, I know I did…So what causes us to bury our extravagant dreams and take up the ordinary?

Could it be complacency? The need for money? Or does it go deeper into things like disappointment, regret, heartache and insecurity? Is it that life has dealt too many bad hands that we’ve lost the motivation to achieve something greater…could it even be a mixture of all of the above??…

So, the big question is, are you living out your childhood dreams? The dreams that have always been apart of you no matter how much you ignore them…If so then keep up the good work but if not, what are you going to do about it?

If your like me and stuck in a rut in at the moment, I encourage you to dig up your dreams, dust them off and go after them again. We create dreams for a reason. They don’t just appear or come from no where, they are part of us. I might even be so bold as to say they are an extension of ourselves. We create them because something has resonated inside of us and as a result we feel happy and content. So don’t give up on them. It’s never too late! If you have a love for fashion, start doing some drawings of your own designs, if you love writing you could start a blog, if you love to cook maybe take up a cooking class, if you’ve always wanted to travel start saving as every little bit counts…make a phone call, volunteer, even start some study. Each small step you make is a step closer to achieving your goals. The possibilities ARE endless, don’t forget that.

You only get one shot at living this life. Do what you love! Seek after what inspires you. Don’t keep putting it off because your last day will come and how horrible will it be if your wishing you had done more with your life while you could. 🙂

I know this (being my first blog) is pretty intense but I hope it challenges you to reach higher and go further.
How awesome would it be if we all filled our days doing what we actually wanted to do!

Enjoy…

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